Sunday, November 11, 2012

Dear Alia,

Months ago, I received a wonderful message from someone who read my blog. Whether it was my main blog, or my spam blog, I am unsure, but I'm going to put this on both of them so that she sees it.

Dear Alia,

First off, sorry for taking so long to reply to you! You were nice enough to hunt down a way to contact me and I couldn't even bring myself to read your message until now. Honestly, for the past six months or so, every review I've received in my inbox has just been shuffled into another folder and neglected until I could work up the courage to reply. So, I apologize for waiting this long to get back to you.

Second, thank you for liking my stories so much. The ones that are finished, I worked hard on to put up, and the one that isn't (LFW), I hope will be completed soon.

A 'Bella in Wonderland' fic would be a great read, I agree with you there. Unfortunately, I must say that I've fallen out of love with the Twilight series. I've been working to try my hand at new things, particularly attempting to focus on writing my own original stories, but I've also been dabbling into other fandoms. I'm afraid that if I try to start another Twilight fic, it will fall short of my own harsh terms I hold myself too, and that wouldn't be good for anyone.

I'm going to be completely honest with you, Alia; a year, six months, and ten days ago (can't believe it's been so long), my father passed away. The pain of losing him was much more then I could handle then, and is only growing more and more each day as I face obstacles like graduating high school and moving away from home for the first time without him. Again, I'll be honest; I went to therapy to talk about my feelings with a lovely psychologist for over a year, before deciding that I didn't need anymore sessions in August. Lately I've been feeling like I made a grave mistake, and as my heart grows heavier and heavier with his absence, I don't think I'll be making it to Christmas without having a breakdown and needing to restart my therapy. I know when you set out with the innocent thought to ensure that I knew your thoughts, you didn't expect me to share all of this with you.

The truth, Alia, is that I've been holding this back from all of my readers. My readers who have been waiting patiently for updates that may never come, and never understanding just what is going on from my side of the screen. My life has been in ruins since May 1st of 2011, and I just don't know what to do. I felt that I had to say this to someone, to get it out there and off my chest so that I don't feel so bad about everything anymore, because I do feel bad. I feel bad everyday and I don't think I'm ever going to stop feeling like this.

I'm sorry if this was too much to share, but I felt that you, Alia, and everybody else deserved it.

This next part, again, is not just for you; it's for everyone. I know that you specifically went to FF.net to find a surefire way to contact me. I'm going to let you, and everybody else, know that there are a couple of ways of contacting me, and you are free to choose whichever method you wish to do so.

Email: xlaraconners@live.co.uk
Twitter: @XlaraC
FanFiction: fanfiction.net/~xlarac
FictionPress: fictionpress.com/~xlarac

So, if you, Alia, or anybody else wishes to share their thoughts about my stories with me, or even just wants to say 'hi' every once in a while, feel free. My inbox is always open to each and every one of you.

Alia, I hope you see this. You're message, while simple, made me think of a lot of things today. Thank you, sincerely, for you message.

Remember me. xx

Most Lonely Face

Listening to: Most Lonely Face by the Holloways

Explanation for the title: see above song :)

I promise I'm going to have a chapter up later tonight, guys.

Seriously. I promise.

Remember me.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Balls

Listening to: I Want by One Direction

Explanation of the title: my last tweet had the hash tag #writersblocksucksballs in it and yea

Hello, everybody! (Which is practically nobody because that's exactly who reads this blog - nobody). I just felt like checking in over here, putting into words again my current plans for FanFiction - which is very little. I seriously have no idea what I'm doing with my writing anymore. I have had writer's block for over a year now and it is seriously stunting my creativity. I honestly wish I could go back in time to when I first started writing 'Play the Fox' and just suck all the writing ability out of my head at that point and bring it to me in present time. I know I've mentioned this somewhere before, but I was so interested in 'Play the Fox' when I first started writing it that I popped out seven chapters in less than half an hour. I am incredibly jealous of the writing talents of my past self.

Currently I have about a hundred or two story ideas running through my head, and like I discussed in my last post, hardly any of them are Twilight related. I just can't find it in my to be interested with Edward and Bella right now.

How many people would kill me if I decided to either put 'Liberty for Wolves' on official hiatus or take it down all together? I really don't want to do that because it seems like whenever I find myself in a hard place with a story I give up and take it down.

You know what? That's all I'm writing for today. I've completely depressed myself with my thoughts, and I don't even have ice cream to make it better.

Remember me.

Monday, September 3, 2012

The Monster at the End of this Book

Listening to: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift

Explanation of the title: I just finished watching the episode of Supernatural with the same name.

Well, well. It has been a long time, hasn't it? Considering the last time I posted on here was in February, I think everybody would agree with me. I decided it was about time that I fixed up the blog and let you know what I've been working on in my absence. I haven't fully planned out what I'm going to be writing about in this blog, but hopefully I'll remember to touch on everything.

1. As you might be able to tell, I've updated the blog template. It's not as involved as my old one, what with there being no banner and no 'about me' section, but I really enjoy the robot. It's part of my efforts to start posting more often on here. Keep our fingers crossed that it works!

2. Writing. Right. The only current story that is an official work in progress is Strange Imprints: Liberty for Wolves (thisisalinkthisisalinkthisisalink), and I haven't been able to update that since May because of my writer's block (yes, it's still here). I've been dabbling with a few stories that I had taken down, and by 'dabbling' I mean I recently reread all I have written of Edward's Inferno (man, does anybody even remember that story?). So, there's that. I'm hoping to be able to finish Liberty for Wolves soon, so that I can just leave it behind and move on with my life.

3. On that note, the Strange Imprints series is going to be coming to a close when I am finished Liberty for Wolves. I just don't have it in me anymore to write what is basically the same story over-and-over with a different animal, even if you guys like it. That doesn't mean I will never come back to it or anything, I mean, I am still interested in writing some Before the Imprint stories revolving around A Lion Sleeps and Rose in May, but what it does mean is that I will no longer be trying to come up with story ideas for the series. I'm sorry, I know you guys like it a lot, but I'm just no longer interested in it any more. If I'm being completely honest, the only one I truly enjoyed writing was the first one, Play the Fox. So I'm putting an end to it after Wolves.

4. So this point speaks about Twilight in general. To tell you guys the truth, I'm not really into it anymore. Lately I've been focusing on my other interests, such as Harry Potter, Hunger Games, and even One Direction. It's becoming harder and harder for me to think about ideas involving the Twilight cast, so I don't know how many more I'm going to be able to write. I mean, I have so many ideas that are just sitting in near-empty folders on my computer that I would love to branch into, but that would be hard with a dwindling interest in the characters. We'll just have to see how this goes, I guess.

Some Ideas:

A while back, I got an idea in my head about Edward mating with Victoria. I would still happily write that story. Don't have much more than that, never really got around to writing a summary of it or anything. Hopefully I will have some more information than this up on the Spam Blog (thisisalinkthisisalinkthisisalink) soon.

Other than that, I was thinking of starting up Afterglow again - you know, the story with Bella as the vampire and Edward as the human? It's a little overdone, but, well, I'd just like to work on something easy for a change.

Anyways, that's all I have to talk about, really. Hopefully something new will be up soon, either story-wise or on the Spam Blog.

Remember me.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Thank God for Tea

Listening to: the annoying sounds of my fish tank's filtering system.

Wow; it's been a ridiculously long time since I've posted on here. (Six months). Finally coming back to update it, now, though.

Here's what's been going on the past few months:

I've fallen into writer's block time and time again. It sucks. Majorly. As some of you might have noticed, I have taken down the following stories:

Afterglow
The Boy King
Edward's Inferno
Masterpiece Theatre, Pt. 1
Strange Imprints: Earn Your Stripes
ZSE
Edward's Purgatorio


After taking them down, I've been trying desperately to find a story that I can write easily and simply, without falling into the curse that is writer's block. Unfortunately, I have so far been unable to do so. However, I am still working on new ideas that I will hopefully be able to write someday, as well as the stories I mentioned in the last post on this blog and the numerable 'Possible Stories' on the spam blog.

I also have a few ideas for the Strange Imprints series going on, and am trying my best to get them out in the open for you guys to read. One of them is titled Strange Imprints: Liberty for Wolves. I won't say too much about it, but I will say that it is much more... involved than any of my other stories.

Anyways, that's all for now; I'm working on Liberty for Wolves as best as I can - hopefully I'll be able to have it up soon.

Remember me.

EDIT: Strange Imprints: Liberty for Wolves has now been posted.
 
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